Not roller skates.
I glance at my new Barbie house with calculation. It isn’t what you wanted, but it will have to do.
Could I possibly sell it and use my earnings for skates?
The ghosts of my past disappointments flicker through my memory: the frisbee I had received for Christmas last year when I’d wanted a volleyball, the jump rope I got instead of a new set of Barbie clothes. Though the pain of both of those losses had seemed so piercing at the moment, there hadn’t been an entire relationship dangling in the balance when I’d received those gifts. Those had just been for fun. This Christmas, I had counted on roller skates to salvage my relationship with Kate.
Why can’t I have roller skates?
My mom seemed so excited when she pointed to the pink, glittery furnishings included in the house, so now I have to act as if I like it.
I am eight years old. I am too mature for glitter, since all it does is lie and try to make ugly things pretty. Regardless of my preferences, I can barely touch the Barbie house without my fingers sparkling for the rest of the day. I wipe away a tear that has somehow escaped my notice and point my chin up. This toy is my playmate for the whole year unless I write Santa Claus and demand a refund. I must make the best of it.
“Lacy! Time to do your laundry!” Kate yells from the recesses of her semi-adult chamber. I am not allowed in there. I haven’t been since she turned thirteen.
This is why you wanted the roller skates. I pick myself up off the ground and straighten out my tutu before following her voice. If I had received roller skates, then she would play with me since all she ever does is skate around the neighborhood. Now she will treat me like a baby forever.
I think back to when Caleb assured me I would receive skates for Christmas. He said it with such a genuine face that I believed him. The big liar… I still haven’t found a way to get back at him, but perhaps my creativity will return once I am done mourning my loss.
“Lacy!” Kate calls once more. She steps out of her room and opens the door to the laundry room right beside it.
I slide on the wood floor and then grab onto the open laundry room door to stop myself. “I’m here!” I snap, not in the mood for her bossy tendencies. Sure, I want to hang out with her, but I will not tolerate blatant disrespect for my obvious maturity. She shoves a basket full of my clothes at me and rolls her eyes. Kate is always rolling her eyes these days.
Her eyeshadow sparkles in the light from the laundry room. If only the glitter on my Barbie house was as complimentary. “What’s wrong with you?” She tightens her ponytail and looks down at me.
“Nothing. I just really wanted skates for Christmas.” I hide behind my blonde curls.
Kate rolls her eyes once more. “You are fine. That’s not something to cry about.”
“I’m not crying!” I whirl around and run as fast as my feet will take me. I hold the laundry basket to my chest, careening through the hallway to get away from her. How can she be so emotionless? I want those roller skates to hang out with her! Tears blur my vision. I trip. The laundry basket slams me in the mouth as I crash to the floor, clothes spilling over the edge like a waterfall. “Ahh!” I cry out, rolling over and pressing a hand to my mouth to try and dull the sudden throbbing pain.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb steps out of his room and looks down at me. “Are you okay?”
“The pain is horrendous!” I gasp and put a hand to my forehead like I see women do in movies when they are feeling faint.
“It can’t be too bad if you’re talking like that,” he mutters. “Where are you hurt?” He squints as he examines me, but his hat sits so far down on his forehead that I doubt he can see anything.
“My mouth.” I tenderly touch my lip, and my tooth aches at the contact.
He smirks. “If you need to talk less, that’s fine.”
I brush myself off and stand up. I will not accept his cheekiness today. “I may have broken my jaw.” I wince as my fingers travel slowly down my jaw line. There is no piercing agony directly on my jaw, but a tooth in the middle of my mouth shifts position. “Actually, it is a loose tooth!” I stick my fingers in my mouth and carefully press on the molar. Sure enough, it wiggles. All memories of the pain fade away. A loose tooth!
I look up to see if Caleb is enraptured by this new development, but he has disappeared into his room. “Kebab!” I stare at the closed door that looms above me. Do both of my siblings despise me? “Didn’t you hear that I have a loose tooth?”
“Stop calling me Kebab!” He opens his door and frowns down at me. Though he’s only eleven, he’s starting to show signs of teenage moodiness. “I told you, my name is C-a-l-e-b.” He distinctly pronounces every letter of his name.
“Whatever. My loose tooth is way more important!” I grin and skip down the hallway, leaving my laundry in a pile on the ground. A loose tooth means the Tooth Fairy, and the Tooth Fairy will bring something that can change the course of my life and sibling relations.
Money.
***
You can do this, Lacy. I take a one large, deep breath to brace myself for the pain that is to come…and I yank out my tooth. A hollow ache fills my gums, but the pain soon evaporates, and I am faced with a pearly white molar in my hand. I smile in the mirror and see blood pooling in an empty space on the side of my gum where the tooth used to be. I stuff a tissue in my mouth to stop the bleeding, place my tooth in a plastic bag, then run down the hallway to find my mom.
“Mom!” I yell, jumping up and down with excitement. “Where are you?” No answer comes so I try again. “M-o-m!”
“She’s grocery shopping.” Kate walks out of the kitchen with a look that says Seriously? Why can’t you just know everything without me having to tell you?
I hold up the plastic bag that contains my tooth. “I just lost a molar! Any chance the Tooth Fairy will give me forty dollars for that?” I bounce on the balls of my feet.
She snorts and opens the door to her room. “Um, no way. The Tooth Fairy isn’t even real.” She closes her door with a resounding thud. I cross my arms and stomp my foot as loudly as I can.
The liar! Mom and Dad have talked to me about the Tooth Fairy, and they have also told me never to lie. Kate is just in a phase right now. Why can’t she just hang out with me without me having to go to all this trouble? I groan and question if it is even worth it. Yes, I decide it is worth it. I just have to make Kate like hanging out with me. Then she won’t be as mean.
I gather the facts of the matter.
I want skates, which cost forty bucks. How can I get forty bucks? I lost a tooth which is worth one dollar.
Do I have forty teeth? I start counting but lose count after ten. It’s a molar, maybe those are more valuable? With my luck, I find that doubtful. There is one more option. But can I go to that extent?
Surely the Tooth Fairy will understand—she sounds like a kind lady, and it is for a good cause. She probably wants sisters to be friends and hang out with each other anyways. Roller skates are the only way that I can be close with Kate.
I nod my head. She might not give me the money, but since she’s only a fairy, I can easily take it.
“Kebab!” I run up to his door and bang on it.
“What?” he groans through the wood. “I’m busy.”
Normally Caleb is more conducive to my needs than Kate, but I might need to consider a way to grow my relationship with him as well if this keeps up.
I press my ear to the door and hear the familiar sounds of his Switch as he plays a video game. Boys don’t understand urgency sometimes. “I need your help with catching the Tooth Fairy.”
I lean my ear against the door and wait for a sound. He opens the door and I almost fall inside. “Why do you want to catch the Tooth Fairy?”
I bite my lip. “Because I need money to buy roller skates so that Kate will hang out with me. I wanted them for Christmas.” I glare at him, hoping he remembers his fake assurances that I would receive my desired gift. “But now I have to find a different way.”
He nods, probably feeling guilty for how he misled me. “Sure, but only if you promise to call me Caleb from now on.”
“Fine.” I hold out my hand for a handshake, but he instead puts his pinky out. I don’t question this. Everyone knows a pinky promise is more binding than a handshake.
“You have to wait by my door and catch the Tooth Fairy when she comes in.” I waggle my finger in his face, making sure that he gets the point. “In case I fall asleep.”
Caleb sighs. “Fine. We are going to need a jar to catch her.”
“A jar?” I had always thought of the Tooth Fairy as bigger than jar-size.
“She’s very small.” His eyes twinkle.
My jaw drops. “You’ve seen her?”
“Briefly.” He grins. “I wasn’t supposed to, but she never found out.”
I stare at him, still open-mouthed. But, I tell myself, you will see her soon too.
***
I wiggle my toes as I attempt to think about anything other than how long it is taking the Tooth Fairy to show up. Does she come at midnight? Or is it more of a two a.m. sort of thing? I maneuver around my many stuffed animals and sit up in bed. Across the room, Caleb is slumped right inside my door. His green hat is slightly illuminated by my mermaid night-light on the other side of the room.
“Caleb!” I hiss through the darkness. “What time does the Tooth Fairy come?” There is no answer. I lean forward and squint to discover that his eyes are closed. “Caleb!” I say, louder this time. “You promised to help me!”
He groans and then rubs his eyes. “I’m going back to my own bed.” He stands and pulls the door open.
“But you promised!”
“I was crossing my fingers.”
Those five words send shivers racing down my spine. I despise lies even more than glitter. Caleb knows that! When he lied to me and said that I would get roller skates for Christmas, I yelled at him for a solid five minutes. Didn’t he get the message? Words aren’t meant to hurt people. They are supposed to be used for truth.
“I don’t care what your fingers were doing. Your mouth was promising!”
He slips out of the door without another word, leaving it open. I feel tears pool in my eyes but I rub them away. I am still on a mission.
It’s pointless to chase him down, so I lay my head back on my pillow and try to close my eyes. I flick them open every other second, but the Tooth Fairy makes no appearance.
Finally, just as I am drifting off, the sound of footsteps fill the hallway. When I open my eyes, I see an adult-sized figure standing in my doorway. I carefully slide my fingers under my pillow and grab a flashlight. I neglect the jar because Caleb obviously lied about the size of the Tooth Fairy, yet another stab to my battered heart.
The Tooth Fairy takes a few steps forward and my heart pounds so loudly that I’m sure she can hear it. Where are her wings? Shouldn’t they be outlined in the faint moonlight trickling in through my window?
“I caught you!” I wonder how exactly I should explain my need for cash. I pull my flashlight out and flick on the power button. The light hits her face. I sit up. “Mom?”
My eyes narrow. Her eyes are wide with a look akin to terror, but that can’t be right. The only reason my mom has to be terrified is if she is hiding something. I stare down at the bottle of glitter that she holds in one hand, and the dollar bill in the other.
“Are you impersonating the Tooth Fairy?”
She gulps. “No, honey, I’m—”
Wait! Another option enters my mind and I cut her off. “Or is the Tooth Fairy impersonating you? What was the first word I spoke as a baby?” I knock a few stuffed animals to the floor as I put my hands on my hips.
“Chocolate.” She immediately answers. I gape. How does she know? Is this really my mom?
She takes a breath and then continues. “You need to go to bed. I was just helping the Tooth Fairy out—”
She is cut off by the sound of my door opening and Caleb’s entrance. “What’s going on in here?” He rubs his eyes.
“Nothing, Lacy is just going to bed.” She smiles softly as if nothing is wrong. Then, like a ninja, my mom seems to simultaneously set a dollar bill on the bookshelf by my door, push Caleb back into the hallway, and close my door with a thud of finality. Her quick exit solidifies my suspicion of foul play.
A thread of lamplight slips under my door. What was that whole conversation about? Am I just dreaming? Am I delusional? I close my eyes and roll over in bed. It seems like the best course of action will be to fall asleep and have an interesting conversation with my relatives in the morning.
***
“Morning, sweetie.” My mom’s voice interrupts my deep slumber. I squint as she flicks the light on and sits on my bed. “You stayed up pretty late last night. Are you tired?”
The memories of last night tumble into my head and I remember her quick exit. This morning she seems much more controlled, but there is something in her eyes that I don’t like. “What happened to the Tooth Fairy? You said you were helping her out?”
My mom takes a deep breath and smiles. It isn’t her actual happy smile that she uses when I have a ballet performance or Kate wins a volleyball game. It’s more like a Yes, Freddie the goldfish died, but he is in a better place now, smile. She hesitates. “I’m sorry to have to tell you, but the Tooth Fairy isn’t real.”
I suck in a breath and shake my head. That can’t be true.
She presses her lips together and her eyebrows crease into a more empathetic smile.
The sharp blade of truth snips the tiny threads of lore and legend that had held my childhood together. The Tooth Fairy isn’t real, which means three things. First of all, my family is made up of a ton of liars. Except Kate, she had been painfully truthful. Secondly, losing teeth is now pointless. I make up my mind never to participate in the painful practice again, lest I endure torture for no cause. Lastly, and most importantly, I will be poor forever. Forty teeth or not, all my hopes of Kate hanging out with me are dashed.
I clench my fists. “You intentionally left glitter on my pillow that wasn’t real fairy dust!”
Mom sighs and looks at me like I am an abandoned puppy. “I wanted to give you a childhood.”
I roll my eyes. There are far better ways to preserve childhood than lying about foundational aspects like the Tooth Fairy. “Rooted in lies? I expected better from you. You told me never to lie!”
Her face tightens. “Maybe one day you will understand.”
I shake my head. “I never will. Now I’m going to have to write to Santa Claus for extra money!” Can I write to Santa Claus in December—after Christmas? The idea seems unthinkable, but I have to use any means possible to secure my skates.
“Honey, this is going to be hard to hear, but Santa isn’t real either.” She holds my hand. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted to feed your imagination.”
“What?” My voice wobbles and I rub my eyes again. It is too early in the morning for this. I can’t have heard right. Santa is fake too?
My mom’s phone buzzes and she pulls it out of her pocket. “I love you, Lacy, but I have to take this call. If you want, we can talk about this a little more after.” She walks out of the room, holding her phone up to her ear.
I am left, bundled up in my blankets. Will life ever be the same again? The truth of the matter is that yes, it will be. It will be the exact same. Kate will still ignore me, I will still not have roller skates, I will still be surrounded by liars.
I swing my legs out of bed and drag myself to the kitchen. Even Lucky Charms can’t fix the pain of my current situation, which indicates severe trauma. Lucky Charms can normally fix everything and serve as a perfect beginning to my day.
I pour the milk in my cereal, and it tastes sour like my life. The naivety of my youth has expired. This thought paints a scowl over my face
“Lacy!” Caleb’s voice just reminds me of his betrayal. I focus on stirring my cereal while he enters the kitchen and pauses by the door. “What?”
“Are you alright?” Kate enters behind him and joins in the conversation.
I turn around. Why is she bothering to ask me about my feelings? This isn’t normal.
“No,” I say. “Mom lied to me—so did Kebab!” I cross my arms and direct a scathing glare towards my traitor brother.
“I’m sorry,” he says, “but I needed to go to sleep last night because I wanted to wake up early this morning to go get something with Mom.”
I notice that his hands are behind his back like he is holding something.
“I don’t know why you want them, but maybe they’ll make you feel better.” Kate takes a shoebox from Caleb’s hands and shoves it at me.
My eyes widen as I read the label. “Roller skates?” I eagerly open up the box and find a pair of pink skates with butterflies on the side that are my size. “What are these for?” I grin as I shove them onto my bare feet.
“I’m sorry I lied to you at Christmas.” Caleb hangs his head. “And I remember how sad I was about the Tooth Fairy.”
Kate smiles. “But now that you know, it’s like a coming of age.”
I shove the other skate onto my foot and stand up. The wheels slip across the tile on the kitchen floor and I fall into my siblings. I had wanted to hug them anyway. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Of course.” Kate smiles and steps back, letting me hold onto her arm so I don’t fall down. “But why did you want skates so bad?”
I bite my lip. “Because I wanted to hang out with you.”
“So you were going to forcibly catch the Tooth Fairy?” She snorts and playfully rubs my head. “I can teach you to skate if you want.”
“That almost makes up for the Tooth Fairy being fake.” I glare at Caleb. “I don’t like lies, and I still don’t see the point. I would never do something so horrible to my children.”
“Is it horrible though? Kate furrows her brow. “It was for your imagination.”
“That’s what everyone keeps telling me,” I sigh.
Kate steadies me and then shrugs. “Well, why don’t we make the most of the weekend and go outside? I can teach you how to balance better.”
She holds one hand, and Caleb takes the other. They lift me through the doorway and laugh as I slide and tumble around the driveway.
Blaire Lycan
Cover art by Levi Matthews
Connect on Instagram @levimatthews.artist or on his website, LeviMatthewsArtist.com.
What a funny story! It had me smiling haha and so relatable
I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Such a fun story Blaire! Lacy has such a great voice.
Thank you so much!